Life Sucks!

Life sucks for me.  I have to go back home to work for 2 weeks before school starts.  I told my mom that the school starts the 27th, I need to get back the 26th.  And guess what?  She is comming back from Taiwan and going to get back here the 26th around 11:30 pm.  If I am lucky, I should be able to leave Chicago around 1:30 am of the 27th and be back in Champaign-Urbana around 4:30 to 5 am.  And then I have to go to class right after that.  I know as a kid I am suppost to be filial to my parents.  But I just hate that they never thought about me.  My dad is like "Well, Eric, I need you to stay and help till your mom comes back, I can't do it alone."  But every time when I go home to work, my dad will be like "Eric, you work, I'll be home stand by(sleeping) and call me if you need me."  I just don't get how come he can't do it alone just for one day.  I mean, if he really needs help, I would stay and help him without any problem.  But all he is going to do is to tell me to work while he stays at home and sleeps.  That pissed me off.  And I am also pissed at my mom.  I  told her I have to come back the 26th, I told her I have to be at Champaign-Urbana at the 26th, but she didn't care.  When she told me she is comming back at the 26th, 11:30pm.  I ask her "Then how about dad?  You know dad is not going to let me go until you come back?"  And she told me"Just go talk to your dad and tell him that you have to go."

That just hurts, knowing that your parents don't give a shit about you.  They know that I have to drive three hours to get back to school from home, and they want me to work 12 hours that day, go to airport to pick up my mom, take her home and then wait till she finish unpacking(I might get some good stuff from Taiwan) and then tell me to drive back to school(since school starts at the 27th, and my first class is 9 am, I have to drive back that morning)

If I am lucky, the airplane didn't delay she should be arriving at 11:30 pm on the 26th(August) and she should be out around 12:00 am on the 27th.  We'll probably get home around 1 am by the time my mom is done unpacking, it should be 1:30 to 2 am, so I'll probably leave my house around 2 am, and be back to Champaign-Urbana around 5 am on the day school starts.  my first class starts at 9 am, but I can't sleep after I got back because by that time, if I fall asleep, I know I am not going to wake up.  The bad news is, that day, I have class till 5 pm.  That is going to kill me. 

Lets see, I'll probably get up at 8:00 am on the 26th(When I usually get up for work)  Start working at 10 am, get off work at 10:30 pm.  Pick up mom, drive her home, drive back to school, and a whole day of school till 5.  That would be 33 hours before I could get any sleep.  It is not that how many hours of sleep matters, it is the fact that they don't even care bothers me.  After Beth(my girlfirend) knows about that, she was pissed and bitching about my parents to me.  I know she feels bad for me but at this point, I really don't need another person to tell me how much my parents sucks.

Ok, I am really a freak.  A martial art freak.  Since I ordered the TaiChi sword, I've been thinking a lot about TaiChi lately.  I even went to combat room to practice.  I asked a lot of people that if they want to come with me, but no one shows interest.  I don't blame them for not interested in martial arts, but I started to think that I am the one that doesn't fit in the group.  I think about martial arts a lot of times, and I really enjoy practicing it.  But there are lots of things I just can't do alone.  I started to feel lonely and empty.  I really wish I can find a partanter for martial arts.  After I went to college, I forget I am a foreigner; but now, I got that feeling back, I don't quite belong here.  People think I am a freak, or I am too violent.  Loving martial arts does not equal violent!

I don't know why this is bothering me, but it does.  I don't even feel like watching TV, DVD, Movies or even playing games.  It is just like.....I have all the things around me that I could do, but I don't want to do them.  And for me, if I don't feel like playing games, that is pretty bad.  The only friend that showed support is April so far, other then that.......nope, nobody.  April is willing to learn and she's got the fighter's spirit, I really love that, but she is pretty busy, other then in Jujitsu class, we only practice on Saturdays.  My old group of martial art friends kind of died out.  Ken is gone, Maryah is gone Joanna and Mike are not here over the summer, Rob,Skip and Jim quit martial art.  Maybe I need another group of martial art friends, but I am really anti-social, I don't think it will be easy for me to find one.  What should I do?

God, if you actually exist, I bag you for some martial art freak friends, friends who are like me, who love martial arts and share common interests as I do.  I don't care if it is a guy or a girl.  I just don't want to be alone anymore.  There are a lot of things I just can't do it alone, I can't throw myself, I can't joint lock me, I can't bear hug myself.........

Sorry guys, I don't have time to read people's journal lately, in fact, I don't even have time to post my own journal.

Taking 20 hours finally gets me now.  I got a lot of work to do, and lots of tests.  Sometimes I wish I have 30 hours a day to work on my homework. 

Got to get back to work again.  Hope you guys have fun.  And don't take too many classes in college.

Ahhh, Monday morning, the end of spring break.  School starts.  I really don't feel like going back to school, because I am doing school work most of the spring break.

Teachers shouldn't give homework for spring break...  :(